Notes From The Underground...

When we arrive at the hospital, much time is spent in the waiting room. My injuries weren’t really a priority, hell I didn’t even want to go there to mend them. So as I’m sitting in the uncomfortable chair, made more uncomfortable by sitting on handcuffs, the two rookies start to engage in some casual questioning. It’s always been real amusing to me how detectives, and in this case, uniformed guys will sidle up to you in a friendly manner to squeeze some info out of you. “So what were you up to tonight?” “Oh, it was great, I made a quick stop at your house and anally raped your mom while pouring sugar in your gas tank.” His response? “Fuck you.” Mine? “And a big fuck you to you too; nice try asshole.” After sitting around for a bit, I’m finally ushered into the back where they begin to stitch up my eye. This real sweet piece of work of a nurse is comforting me, being extra nice. The cop just isn’t digging it, muttering to himself “Fucking little prick”, while I’m laughing to myself at his frustration. “Now we’re going to flush that glass out your eye, ok sweetie, it might sting a bit.” “Go right ahead sweetheart, I trust ya.” She started flushing it out and even though I was really drunk, it still hurt a bit; nothing like glass scratching your eyeball. After she finished patching up my eye it was time to take that all-important blood sample. The nurse tells me “Now before we take this, I’m going to need you to sign this release, ok hun.” Hold on, wait a minute. A release? I don’t have to give them a sample. “No, I’m not going to sign it.” The cop steps in “Listen if you don’t sign it we’ll take it anyway.” Not believing him, I say “Bullshit, if that were the case you wouldn’t need me to sign this form.” Confident in my assumption, I say “ No way, I’m not fucking signing it; you expect me to believe you.” Trying to convince me, the nurse says “It’s true, they can take it anyway, it will just look better in court if you consent to it.” “No offense, but I’m just not buying it, if you can take it anyway, why do you need me to sign a consent form, it’s not happening, so let’s just get outta here.” Well, I was wrong. In under a minute the spike was in my vein sucking out their precious evidence.