So Focused...

on this right now. Just dead smack on. Right at that the point where I love making money, scheming to make more money, and just on the precipice of hating it all at the same time. It's like being in heaven for the weather, but I want to cut away and go to hell for the company, yet it's tough to have both, so I'm stuck with the eternal boredom of heaven. Things are just not fucked up right now, it's kinda cool...
drink break...
go outside...
...back now.
hmmm... outside now. It's pretty cold out here. Got my drink, and it's SOCO! I haven't been able to drink this in years, but I was at my buddy Stank's place a few weeks ago... I was on my way to appoinment fuck this chick, and I stopped in to grab a condom, he had a Magnum Twister, grabbed it; I saw a bottle of SoCo and slugged it, after doing so, I wasn't sick, ok, problem solved. I used to drink so much of that shit, it made me sick to drink it anymore. but i guess a couple years off let it come back... so i drank the SoCo\ I was ready to fuck, then he loaded the Volcano vaporizer, set it to 9, i hit it, i was done. i drove out to her house, stopped at her driveway, realized I was in no state, and went back to Stanks. But if one good thing came, it was the realization of further SoCo consumption, not the more than excessive White Castle consumption that followed... so back to where we were?>
We're at 13 weeks, just thirteen to go, and I'm back in the lazy palm tree driven days. Soon enough I hope, because I fear it's getting too cold for me here, not just weather wise. my goals are set, and shit is getting done, but being cut off from society for extended periods of time are proving to be more difficult than it was in earlier days. I used to just not care, but the past few years have spoiled me. It's ok though, I've done solitude, I've done hate, I've done jail, I've done reliance on exclusive self, I can do this standing on my head. We all need breaks every once and a while; thats just what this is. I think it's good... like sooo good. At least to just get a little perspective on things. Sometimes if you just keep going it's really easy to lose sight of what's real, and just become a lame, a jerk, a monster, or worse.