fucked,,,

here i sit, hungry and tired... why hungry, i just ate a meal thirty minutes ago, so the fact i'm still hungry (like starving ethiopian hungry) is odd to me. why tired, i don't know... been pushing limits this week. and not really mentally tired, and not really physically tired, but spiritually tired, if such a thing does in fact exist, or i just don't know how to communicate this tiredness that i feel at the moment. shit, i'm so tired i can't even bring myself to use capital letters when justified. but hey, at least i'm still using commas and periods, so there is still some kind of sembalance to this rant. so how do we explain this... maybe it has something to do with the excessive drug use that has continued this week, the excess that was supposed to cease a couple of weeks ago. my friend benny has been staying around lately, so that facilatates smoking heroin. he left on friday, so hopefully that will stop for a while, but the night before he left i ended up getting a bunch of it and smoking that bunch in a matter of a few hours with my neighbor, which is a new problem, because he's into to it, and is already requesting that i get more from my connect. well, what else, after the heroin was gone, my neighbor decided to get some crack and bring it over... it went pretty fast. point being, bad influences are abound. much weed has been smoked as well... it has ran out. more will be purchased... the masses are hungry, and of course i'm responsible to support them. this probably goes without saying... but rampant drinking is still going on, but i think its intensity has increased recently, i mean christ, i bought a whole bar last week, and it is gone, the last thing left was sake, and my neighbor and i just boiled it up on the stove and finished it fifteen minutes ago. now what is there to think about all this behavior... i don't know, now if i were a sucessful writer, artist, or rockstar this would be okay, hell, perhaps even essential, but unfortunately i'm not. i'm a student, and one who should be taking their studies very seriously, but i haven't. haven't as in, been to class three times out of nine, not read any of the books, not done any of the homework, and has three exams in two days. i probably should get cracking on the school, but who knows. maybe it will all be irrelevant shortly; why? i'll tell you why. it seems that world war iii is upon us. and i could be wrong; fuck, i hope that i am. but this one looks like it has a eighty percent chance of going down by march. sad business. why sad business? because if this shit goes down, we're looking at america, the uk, turkey, israel, and others facing off against iran, russia, china, and others. we're talking skyrocketing oil prices, global depression, and a possible all-out nuclear war. i assure you, if this goes down, things will not be the same for quite some time, if ever, and the fact that i'm fucking up in school will become very irrelevant. ever seen a mad max movie? if so, that could very well be our future, which is fine with me, just so long as i get to be mad max. it would be nice if our current world wasn't so complicated. i just borrowed a guns n' roses dvd from neighbor, so i sit here watching their old videos from nearly twenty years ago. it reminds me of a simpler time, which is comforting. this current society has gotten so competitive, fast-paced, and gunked up with shit, it is about to spin off the fucking planet. but what can i do, what can you do, what can anyone do? kudos to the person or people that reverse this track we're on... that is if they ever come along. this all kind of makes me wish i was born in 1945 so i could've been a part of the peak of our civilization, instead of being a part of the end. but fuck it, we're playing with the cards we're dealt. time for some mad max shit or time to clean up my act, finish school, and get a job. we'll know by the end of march how this one plays out, or maybe i'm just drunk off the sake and this rant has meant absolutey nothing, tune in next time kids to find out...