stagnant fragile water

y'know i'm still really lacking that connection, i drink more to jar it into place, but it falls short, at this point i'm sure that the more i drink the further away i stand from human connection, and that's fine with me, but i don't think it's fine with everyone else, i thinks it's funny, it is, but i just end up being mean, i just end up doing shit i shouldn't do, but really, such fragile relationships shouldn't require much tending anyway, it's like watering a dead plant.