The Hazards of Love

Have you ever seen someone turn on a dime? Because I can show you how it's done. Point being, sometimes I don't like this. I can see the regression. I can see what this does to me. And what it is; is just showing me that it's impossible for me to care about anything when I care about someone. That's just my fucked up process. I've seen it happen before. The drinks get stronger; I get meaner. At least now I can see it coming. It seems sad at a time when it appears I can only be happy or nice when I don't give a fuck about anyone. To only care about one and hate all, or be a prince to all and care about none; oh, what an interesting choice. And I try to make a conscious effort to remedy this handicap; I try to meet the balance at least, if anything. No dice. It would be nice to know what it is. Is it the lack of balancing good feeling? As in I throw everything nice at the one I love and say fuck you to everyone else. Is it knowing that I now have someone I genuinely care about so that now I don't need to pretend I like the others anymore? Not sure. I am sure I have a problem though. I'm also sure I know how to fix it too as well; doesn't mean I don't hate the fucking answer as well.