Back to New York, Then Off to Tempe

I wake up on Thursday to the arrival of a FedEx envelope I had been expecting from Arizona. Its contents? My passport and the keys to my apartment. After losing my wallet five days earlier on the subway, I had received the passport I needed to get a new license, so I could board my flight back to Tempe, and more importantly, so I could drink at the bar for the remainder of my stay. I was on a tight schedule, so I had to hurry. I rushed through a shower, and hastily threw my bags in the back of the car. The goal? To get to the DMV, get a new license from them, and then board the last train to Hoboken. How much time did I have to do this? A little over an hour. The entire route to the DMV was a series of frustrating thirty-five mph roads frequented by the elderly. Once at the DMV, I found it to be packed; great. By the time I had the license in hand, fifteen minutes were left to make the train that was at least twenty minutes away. However, we had a plan, a plan that was helped by the slow speed of the train, and its frequent stops. We had decided that we would drive three stops ahead of my initial departure point in a hasty attempt to make the train. Which I did, and with five minutes to spare. During the two hour ride I finally finished the book I had been reading for way too long (Go), and I was amused by the ranting of a bum who rode in the front of the car. Once at the Hoboken station, I called Ana; no answer. I figured I’d head into the station’s bar and take advantage of the privileges my new license had granted me. While there, I bullshit with some of the regulars and the bartender, call Catherine to make plans for later, and of course, pound beer like it’s going out of style. Finally, Ana calls. I leave my money on the bar and hop into the nearest cab. Shortly after I get there, we decide it is time to head to the nearest bar and drink heavily. On the way, I talk to my sister Lauren, and we make plans for drinks and dinner. Ana and I sit at this bar called DC’s for a short while drinking cocktails and taking shots. We had to cut our stay short though because my piece of shit phone has been acting up lately, and needs to be charged constantly. We walk back to her place, charge my phone, and have more cocktails. After another short while, it was time to head over to Maxwell’s for dinner with Lauren and her boyfriend Steve. Dinner was standard, nothing exciting, but quite understandably, by the time it was over, I was close to being very drunk. Lauren and Steve suggested that we go to another bar near their place called the Quiet Lady. Now if you’re ever in Hoboken, stay away. This place is a haven for the I think I am better than you crowd. While there, I drank whiskey to ease the pain, with shots thrown in for good measure. I also played darts with some dickface, and stole a glass because it said Hoegaarden on it. After all that, Lauren dropped Ana and I off at L&J’s; my favorite local bar. By now, we were both pretty fucked up. From when we got there, until we left, we dominated the jukebox; not another soul had the chance to play a song. We ended up staying for almost two hours, but I think I only had one or two drinks; I was that fucked up. I remember walking home vaguely, but the rest of the night was subject to blackout. Who knows? Anything could have happened.
The sunlight breaking through the window finally wakes me up around nine. Luckily, I didn’t feel hung-over, but this was probably because I was still quite drunk. Also, I woke up naked. Who knows? But this is Saint Patrick’s Day in New York City, it was time to rock n’ roll. After another hour of procrastinating in bed, I went downstairs to smoke a cigarette, and make a couple calls. One of which was to Catherine telling her I was coming by to drop off the key, and to request a free breakfast. I went back upstairs to tell Ana we should hurry and get ready to go so we could take advantage of said breakfast. Once ready, we take the twenty-block walk to the PATH station and hop the subway to the remains of the World Trade Center. We walk to the apartment, get on the elevator, see a dog that resembles a multi-colored pig, and walk into the apartment. We wait for a bit while Catherine finishes making cookies, and engage in some amusing banter with her boyfriend Chris in the process. Then we walk to the local diner where I enjoy two breakfasts over more amusing banter at the diner. By now, it was nearly one, and the time had come to head uptown on the subway to meet up with friends. Cell phone service in the subway obviously sucks. So, by the time I emerge to the street at the Times Square station I receive a text message from Layla and realize I should have continued another seventeen blocks up the line to meet her. Here, Ana and I part ways. She heads to a close by bar to meet everyone else, and I head twenty blocks uptown to meet Layla in the heart of the ongoing St. Patrick’s Day parade. Once I get up to 57th and 5th, I find Layla. We quickly decide that the parade sucks, and decide to meet the others at the bar. I call Ana to get the location, and to see if they’re checking for I.D., because Layla is nineteen. 46th and Broadway, it’s all good, no I.D. check. So we head there to find them at a busy Irish bar called Rosie O’Grady’s in the back at a table. By the time we’d gotten there they had all decided that the place was lame and we should all head somewhere else. So we headed east to 2nd avenue to find a cool little Irish pub called The Press Box. Inside, people are packed in like sardines in a tin, and we’re inundated with U2 songs. We all stay there a while and have a few pints of Guinness. After a bit we realize that we’re spending too much money, and come up with a plan to head into SoHo, so we can drink at the bar Ana’s roommate Lea works at for a discount. Layla had to go to the Blue Man Group show with her parents, so I walked her outside, had a cigarette with her, and told her I’d see her back in Arizona the next night. Shortly afterward, six of us were packed into a cab heading down the FDR Drive into SoHo. Finally, we arrived at a place where we could drink gratuitously without the worry of emptying our wallets. First thing on the agenda was the drinking of multiple car bombs, as they were twelve bucks everywhere else. We sat here for a while, got quite drunk, and had a good time. At a certain point, I had discovered that I was wasted. My only remedy? Food. I left and headed up into the East Village to find some weird shop that had a glass case with prepared foods. I don’t even remember what I ate, but it did the job. On the way back to The Living Room, I came across a little basement bar with no sign out front; I felt obligated to go in, check it out, and have a drink in the process. I was digging it, so I went back and told everyone we should head over there when Lea got off work. We did. So, we all went over there and consumed more alcohol. There was a little back area with couches in it that I decided I would sneak a smoke in at. After a couple of minutes the doorman came over to me; he said nothing, but gave me a look instead; it was understood, I got up immediately and walked outside. While I was out there, some random girl came up to me, and asked if I was interested in purchasing a tab of acid and a pill of E; fifteen bucks. Sure, why not. We went into a nearby clothing store, I got change, and we made our transaction in a secluded stairwell. I went back into the no-name bar and told Ana of my purchase, and started drinking more. After a couple of minutes, she told me she was leaving; I think what I did may have pissed her off a bit. So, I was left with her friend Tara, and a couple of other dudes. After a few more drinks, we had all decided to leave. One of the guys was trying to get Tara to leave with him, but I don’t think she was feeling it. So, her and I headed one way, and them another. We walked north to 4th street, then west to the Christopher Street PATH station. We were both pretty drunk, so we ended up taking a couple of unnecessary train rides before reaching Hoboken. It was cool though, because we had a good conversation in the process concerning travel. By the time we had reached L&J’s near Ana’s apartment we had decided that we would travel together in the Pacific Northwest during the summer. At L&J’s we drank more and had a final car bomb for the night that was on the house. Now we were trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the night. Take the train back to her place, go back to Ana’s; but I had to get my bags from Ana’s, as I needed to be at the airport in a few hours. But Ana was not answering her phone; for either of us. However, Tara had Lea’s number, and she told us we could come by. We finished our drinks, stopped at the local pizza place for food, and climbed the stairs to the apartment. When we got in Lea was hanging out in the kitchen with a girlfriend of hers. I went into Ana’s room to get my luggage, but unexpectedly found her in bed with some shirtless guy. So, I introduced myself, grabbed my bags, and went back into the kitchen to drink more while I ate my food. Ana came out and bullshitted with us a bit, then went back in after saying goodbye to me. Then everyone else passed out, except for Lea and I, who watched The House of Yes until I had to call a cab for the airport. I show up there wasted, check my bag, get my ticket, and then proceed to scour all three terminals for an open bar. No luck, I return to my terminal of departure to find that I left my ticket on the air-train. I go back to check-in to tell them I’m drunk and lost my ticket already; they happily gave me a new one. After lulling through the security checkpoint, I found a restaurant next to my gate with a bar in it. Yes! But, no actually. They told me they would not serve liquor until seven, which was twenty minutes after takeoff. So I half finished the breakfast I ordered and boarded the plane. Within two minutes of sitting down, I passed out, and sunk into a very solid sleep.
I wake up to the bright sky coming through the window, and a couple of fat dudes sitting next to me. I check my watch to find I should be landing in about an hour. Soon enough, we land; the best flights are the ones you sleep through. Upon landing, I call Samir for a ride home. After waiting a long time for my bag, he’s still not there. The 202 was closed, so it took him a bit. He gets there, we go, and I’m home. Fuck. I left my phone charger at Ana’s. Must go buy a new one, stat. Wait, cancel that. Jim came home and let me borrow his extra one. My food/liquor/cigarette delivery arrives, and I’m fully stocked. Felicity calls, confirms our date for later. Now that I’m all settled back in, Viki and Ricky come by. We hang here for a bit, and drink a few beers while we wait for my phone to charge, and exchange St. Patrick’s Day stories. After that we head over to Zuma Grill on Mill Ave.. Ricky has a Bloody Mary, Viki a dirty martini, and a Red Bull / Vodka for myself. Then we head over to Margarita Rocks for free food and cheaper drinks. Unfortunately, Jamie was not working, but the new girl was cool. We drink there for a couple of hours, make plans for later in the week, and part ways so I can make my date, and they can go out to dinner. I get back to my place on time, but Felicity is nowhere near on time. I give her a little over an hour for the benefit of the doubt, and then I start to make a couple calls to arrange for other plans. I also happened to slip into a bit of a nap on my bedroom floor with a beer in the process as well. This was probably for the best anyway, because she awakened me when she finally came… two and a half hours late. We went into the kitchen, where she began to make me dinner as promised, and I went out to get some ice for our drinks. She actually made a good meal too, which I find to be rare in a woman these days, and in a different style from what I cook, which was a nice change of pace. After that……….. None of your business kiddies. I don’t usually talk about my sexual activities on here, and this time is no exception, but don’t worry, because there occasionally are exceptions. But for now, go read a porno or something. It was a good night though… And morning…. And afternoon…. And peace bitches…