Observations

These Tempe bars are all shit on the weekend, the suburbanites all juice up on in and ruin it. The Black Lips are cool with twisted words. Portland was cold this time around. Walking with Michele was hot this time around. My High Life is warm. My toilet overflowed on my bathroom floor today, I had to mop it up. Antony has a good singing voice; but what a fag. People should use more children's pianos in music. The cigarettes are killing me. Fat girls at Gordon Biersch are a waste of time. I love telling people to go to Jacques-Imos when they're in New Orleans. Someone took the strainer off my vodka bottle and I made my drink too strong. I broke into somebodies apartment earlier this week in Portland. This various artist on Dark Was The Night sounds like a cross between the Beatles and Aretha Franklin. I have three toilets, only one of them works. Michele is coming back tomorrow. I listen to my Myspace playlist too much. New York is calling me. Sometimes you just need to say what the fuck. My posters refuse to stay on their walls. Somebody recently told me that I just don't burn bridges, I burn cities, and that my mind is built for destruction. I'm going to get drunk again. Someday we will all be lost in the desert. Everytime I put my phone down too hard it resets. Milo will not leave me alone. Chipotle Grill is for fags. ASU is for the birds. Cigarettes burn too fast. The Nines is a decent luxury hotel. My Father's Place serves a shitty bloody mary and a mean eggs benedict. I've noticed that fags love wine and the Oscars. 200 million thousand people texted me today. My face is itchy I need to shave. Goodbye. 

The Kids Don't Know Shit

Lungs love holes
Escaping words you know
Smoke gets in your eyes
Still blowing in the wind
And we can't beat this cancer, can we?
Answer me

Kids don't know shit
Everything they've learned is wrong
Boys in the neighborhood are fit, they fight all night long
Kids don't know it, but everything they've touched is gone
Cause no one understands,
You can't stand under something that's all wrong
When you're facing the day
When you're wasting away
And you get lighter than your brain
And it grows tighter everyday
Love's lungs hold air to a blow a hole
Cold chest grows, fills up with smoke
At least your head is warm
Still forming ways to warm the baby, the baby's bed

Cause kids don't know shit
Everything they've learned is wrong
The girls on the block are listening in,
They sing, 'let's get strong'
Kids don't know it, but everything they've got is gone
We used it for some fuel and food
Then the rats took it from us and made a bomb

Words love holes
Getting lost in lies we know
Still believing branches weaving forests
Leaving helps them grow

Kids don't know shit
Everything we learned was wrong
Deep down we knew it,
We always knew it all along
Nebulor splendor, I'll remember those constellations forever
A cursory person turns to me and says
'well, you won't live forever'

The Week Rolls By

Last Saturday: We throw a raging house warming party. We were able to procure a discount keg of Hefeweizen, and I made a 5 gallon batch of jungle juice. Many people came, drank, and cavorted. Due to my beginning of drinking at 2pm, I was drunk by midnight, and what lasted until 6am only seemed to last two to three hours.

Sunday came and I felt like total shit. I walk over to Chipotle due to my inability to cook. I eat my burrito while I watch a movie. I try to have a beer, it won't go down. I then walk to CVS, because I am still unable to cook. I buy popcorn, chips, and sparkling water. Wolf calls me, so I invite himself, Michele, and Kaila to watch another movie with me. Halfway through the movie Dan and Danny come around, so they all smoke a hookah. The movies ends. They leave. I attempt to finish my homework, and end up not finishing one assignment on time. 

Then Monday, what an entertaining day. We decided to finish the keg, which was done in less than an hour. Danny and I then proceeded to drink three liters of jungle juice. Which then lead to hijinks not soon to be forgotten, well at least not forgotten by our roommate Dan. Dan decided to bring a girl over that night. Danny and I decided to bum rush the bathroom and jump in the hot tub completely naked while they were having sex in it. Let's just say that neither one of them were amused. She left. Danny went to bed. I went to the Rogue with Tuesday. Dan did not want to talk to either of us. After the bar I came home, and since I felt bad about the earlier actions of the night, I took Dan to two strip clubs. At Skin, I tell him I'll buy him a lap dance, but it lasts less than two minutes, so I refuse to pay, and am kicked out. Then I take him to Dream Palace, where I buy him another lap dance, and actually pay this time. We come back to the house and Tuesday and I do a little dance.......

Tuesday...What happened on Tuesday? Don't fucking know.

Wednesday.. I remember going to Tops, and getting a variety of expensive beers. Then drinking the beers at the house with James and the roommates. 

Thursday. Michele and Amanda come over. We get drunk. Amanda cuts my hair. Tuesday and the roommates come over. Tuesday leaves. I make out with Amanda. Dan and Danny go to Tuts. The girls leave a bit after that. I change into my bellbottoms since Amanda and I dumped drinks all over each other's laps. I then go to meet Dan, Danny, Ramon, and his cute little cousin at Bostons. I'm pretty drunk by now. I finish little cousin's drink, break the glass, and then drink half of her new drink. We leave and head over to Casey's. More drunk now, I steal drinks left on the bar. We run into Genevieve from the night prior at the liquor store, she's with her bearded friend. We all talk for a while, Genevieve and I share the earbuds of my IPod and sing the Stones out loud; people must have thought we were weird. We all come back to the house after that. Danny and Beardo engage in a discussion about his sister. Not sure what Dan does. Genevieve and I talk for a while and realize that both our families are from Staten Island, that we both love Italian cooking, and have much in common. We agree to hang out and make spaghetti and meatballs together. I guess it's 4 or 5 by now and the night ends.

Friday:::: Dan, Danny, and I head to Fibber Mcgee's to catch a band. We're immersed in a full blown cougar den, so I drink bourbon on the rocks. I talk to Andrew as we're leaving and it just so happens he's at the house just over the wall from the parking lot. We have a beer and agree to meet later on. Danny drops Dan and I off at the Tavern to meet Liz. We have a few drinks with Liz and her drunken crew and then realize it's almost two, so we head over to Casey's. After a drink I run into Jasmine, talk to her for a minute and then it's closing time. I go back to the house and make fried rice. Shortly after, Michele, Andrew, and Brad show up. So them, Dan, and myself get really drunk and listen to music all night.

Saturday: I wake up the next day beyond hungover. Dan and I decide to go to Casey's to drink and eat sandwiches. We burn through about five pints and talk about South America. After that we head to Buffalo Exchange and buy two pairs of unusual pants each, then onto to Top's to purchase vodka and whiskey. When we get home, I'm tired and almost fall asleep at the counter, only to be awaken by James knocking at the door. Dan and James go to Tuts after sampling the corn whiskey, I lay about and eventually take a shower. Around ten I walk over to the Cue Club and see Mike outside, we talk for a bit. I go inside, hit Dan on the back of the head, slap Mark's hand across the table, and kiss Jenny hello. But, I only get to stay for a bit because Michele texts saying they're on their way, and Andrew calls with the question "High Life or PBR?" I say "High Life." So I walk back home arriving five minutes late to let Michele, Jaime, Brad, and Andrew in. A few minutes later Cory and Barry show up. Teabags strolls in the front door, Amanda comes in the side door. A while after that Chris and Allen come over, and finally Danny. So what do we do? Drink. Listen to music. Play beer pong. Smoke weed. Get wild. Chris punches out one of our windows. Allen pukes. Cory goes home. Dan gets in the hot tub by himself. Barry runs around demanding to get in the hot tub. Danny goes to bed. The rest of us end up getting laid.

Whatever I Want It To Be

Well the poison passed through me and I did not die. Like I would have anyway. So the poison passed, I drank more. I got a very nice haircut from a beautiful Navajo girl that I hope to see tomorrow. And I pretty much did half the things on my 'What will I do tonight if I don't die tonight list'. At the moment I listen to the Heroin music Jasmine and I used to listen to. Too bad she's become unavailable, we used to have fun. Otherwise, tonight was solid, I met Amanda, she's cool. I also found a very nice platonic friend in Genevieve from the quasi old country and we will make bomb spaghetti and meatballs together. It's nice to find people with like interests, especially that one. Too bad we're not trying to bang each other, she'd be great to bring home to Mom and Dad. By the way, I'm starting to hate sleep again, this is no good, only bad things can amount from this. Not much else to say right now, and the Jesus and Mary Chain just came on, so.. BYE.

Fatalistic

This may be my last post. I think I've been poisoned. I feel impurities rampaging through my veins, my body wants to vomit but it cannot. There is a chemical taste in my insides, almost like dish washing soap. My vision is becoming distorted, and my body twitches like that of a cockroach sprayed with poison. What the fuck is going on? Relax, Relájate I tell you. This too will all pass. Rasputin survived. Why not you? Was it the Yerba Mate? The impure drinking water? The Cabernet Sauvingon? Was it the God I don't believe in? Does he want me dead? I can't just drift on, I might get lost, stay strong. Fuck death, I own my life. It's my choice for when my time to die is, no one else's, mind over matter. Forget the dizziness of this sick spell, soldier on, keep moving. Just stay in motion. I wonder what I'm going to do tonight if I survive this. Go to a bar with my roommate? Go to a bar with some girl? Have a girl over my house? Have sex? Listen to music and drink wine? Pound vodka alone in a corner? Contemplate my future? Senselessly order things online using my dwindling budget? Do some long overdue editing on a fetish video? Cook food since I haven't eaten all day? Go delirious? Meet my end due to a mysterious poisoning? Read a book? Watch a movie? Sleep? Steal a car? Do drugs? The possibilities are endless I tell you, endless. It's too many permutations to consider at this late date. Fuck, it feels like I drank ammonia. I need to get up. I need to fight this. I need to induce vomiting. I need to go. Goodbye.

Well I Don't Know What I'm Looking For, But I Know That I Know That I Just Wanna Look Some More

I'm so fucking stupid. Yes, yes I am. My phone is tucked in the ankle of my Nikes waiting for it ring... but it won't. You wanna know why it won't? Because I'm fucking stupid. I had a short stint in the land of bees and honey, opportunities abounded, and I blew them all. Wanna know why? You don't, but I'll tell you anyway. One. I drank too much. Two. I was bound literally for six months, and figuratively for another sixteen, it fucked me up, and made me burst into a nascent oblivion and make mistakes once freed. Yet in the the spirit of not lying, it felt good, damn good. Why else do it all? A creature of habit, a scoundrel of impulse, a demon of sin, a man of action, that is I, and I am me. Well, in that mood anyway.

However, I digress from my main point here; I fucked up, and what it was, I'll always know. I can deal with the random sluts hating me, and beyond that I can assure myself that Michele will always be cool with me. Also, I can be slightly upset that Gomez is disappointed with me, but the way that I lost a woman named Milli's faith in me is shitty. Quite sure I'm blowing this out of proportion, and she gives two shits about me at this point in time, but after what I did, it's hard to gauge the truth. People conceal feelings, shield their hearts, find hard to expose; but that's my mistake, not hers. Anyways, I still feel bad about it, and for what? Something that could've been shot into a forty minute ass to mouth porno scene. I do that for a living now, and I stay behind the camera because I don't care for that nonsense these days.

The last month of fucking eight different people in that time frame just seems sad and boring to me now. I'd been there before and yet forgotten about it due to a two year relationship, but back then it felt like a job. In the beginning of this latest jaunt it felt good, yet towards the end, it felt like an obligation, and I'm glad it's over with. Substance, substance my friends, that's what it's all about. I met someone genuine and I fucking blew it. Hence the lambasting of myself.

However, this is my catharsis. This how I get it out and deal. It's all fucked now and yet I'm not entirely sure why. She's too busy, she hates me, she doesn't give a fuck, or she's just like me and doesn't like to talk to people unless we're going to see them in person. But for my own selfish reasons I had to get it out.

Anyways, time to finish listening to this good music, finish this good drink, wake up, do some reading, hit the skate park with Wolf, do happy hour at Casey's, and do prep for the most kickass house party Tempe's ever seen. Good night y'all.

First Night

As we drive down Sunset, I look around to see what's out there. To me it looks like a mix of New York and Phoenix. After merging onto Hollywood, we continue down past Vine and park the Volks. Michele says "Let's go to the Kitty!" It's some bar next to the porn shop she works at; must be an after work favorite of hers. We go in, sit, and drink. Gomez slides on his black Wayfarers, and continues to wear them the rest of the night. We all wear black, that's what one pretty much does in Hollywood. We must have been there for a half hour or so, drinking Tiger beer, making introductions. Then we leave and head over to Tiny's, or the Burgundy Room, or the Frolic Room. It was one of those places next, not sure which one, but we went to all three at various points of the night. We had a lot more drinks, met up with more girls, all with hipster hair and clothes, but all good looking. At some point we head back over to the Kitty, and by now my head is swimming. Outside the Kitty, Michele and I make out on the side of the building, Gomez sees it, but does a good job of pretending like he doesn't care. Michele gets worried and goes back inside while Gomez and I talk outside as I smoke a cigarette. After entering and then exiting the bathroom, Michele and I decide to go out in the street and hail a cab. We were too drunk to be out, and quickly made it back to Silverlake. We spent the rest of the night talking in bed until we could no longer stay awake.