Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Boylife In America


Yes, I'm a momma's boy
Girl's like to think I'm spoiled
Cause I want it all the time, I like to make it mine
I drop it like a bomb, my pickle and my charm
Yes it's me, if you're guessing who
I'm back again, in another life
Just to see what's on my mind
I do it all the time
I never bite my tongue, I speak it when it comes

All I want is pussy, give me some religon
A brand new Cadillac and a winning lotto ticket
I don't want no pretty, city boys in makeup
Showin' me their goodies when I don't wanna see it
Oh no!
I'm all about boylife in america

Livin' still in my momma's house
Ain't no movin'- she's gonna have to put me out
Got no responsibilities,
The possibilities!
Goin' nowhere as I'm tellin' her friend...

All I want is pussy, give me some religon
A brand new Cadillac and a winning lotto ticket
I don't want no pretty, city boys in makeup
Showin' me their goodies when I don't wanna see it
Oh no!
I'm all about boylife in america

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Moving To LA


There's not much glam about the English weather
There's nothing left keeping us together
Sunshine on a rainy day
Makes me want to move away
I think I've got it sorted
I'm going to get myself deported

I'm considering a move to LA

Hang around with Axl Rose
Buy myself some brand new clothes
Everything is gonna be just fine
I hear the murder rate is in decline
Get me a southern accent
Maybe grab a piece of action

I'm considering a move to LA

When I get off the plane
The first thing I'm gonna do is
Strip naked to the waist
And ride my Harley Davidson
Up and down Sunset strip
I may even get a tattoo
My problems are never gonna find me
I'm not sending one letter
or even a postcard back
I'm drinking Henessey
With Morrissey
On a beach
Out of reach
Somewhere very far away

I'm considering a move to LA
(He's considering a move to LA)

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Exiting New York


Friday night. After finishing the last post, I return to the fire escape. I drink more vodka. I smoke more cigarettes. I do this for about an hour, and then crawl back through the window to wake Ana. Then I call up Matty D., he's over in the East Village at McSorley's, drinking with a large group of people. I ask Ana when she wants to head into the Village, and she says that she is going to wait for another couple of hours for Tara. Well, fuck waiting that long; I hit the street and head to McSorley's. I ride the Path to 9th street, and head towards 7th and Third. On the way, Catherine calls me up, we talk for the duration of my walk, and for another ten minutes outside of McSorley's. We decide that she'll catch a cab to meet me, and then we'll go out for dinner. Once inside, I head directly to the bar for beers, before meeting my group. The menu at McSorley's consists of two items; light beer, and dark beer; I order two light beers. I drink the first one like a shot, and carry the second over to the table. When I approach the table I find about ten people at it; I know about five of them. I sneak up from behind, and pat Stank on his head. He turns around shocked--because only Matty D. knew I was coming--and says "Oh shit, Keanu!" He says this because he is convinced I'm a dead ringer for Keanu Reeves; go figure. I greet everyone at the table, half of whom, I don't know, the other half I haven't seen in two to three years, except for Matty and Stank. So, we sit at this massive table for a while, littered with empty mugs, full mugs--about fifty of them--and just basically, get shitfaced. We go outside, smoke cigarettes, and watch a Ukranian festival going on. Catherine calls me, says she doesn't want to go to the sushi place around the corner, "Well, what do you want to do then?" "Just catch a cab downtown, come to the apartment, we'll figure it out, I'll pay for the cab." This is her response. "Damn, fuck you, you better figure out a place by the time I get there." I say my goodbyes to everyone, and we make plans to meet up in Amsterdam in a year, then I walk over to Avenue A to hail a cab. I ride down to Gold Street, and shoot up twenty-five floors to the place. Inside, she has a glass of wine, I have an Amstel. While she gets dressed, she informs me that she made a reservation at Dylan Prime; some shi-shi place over in Tribeca. After our drinks, we go downstairs and hail a cab to get over there. Over at Dylan Prime we order Evian, Grey Goose, and Steak Tartare; she has Steak Wellington, and I have the Carpetbagger, which is a filet mignon, stuffed with oysters, in red wine sauce. After dinner I call Ana to see what her and Tara are up to, she says they're about to leave; I tell them to meet us over at Arlene's Grocery. Catherine and I take a cab over there, order drinks, and hide out in the back in one of the booths. We drink for a while, and contemplate going downstairs to see the show, but we just stay put and drink more. I'm outside having a smoke when Ana and Tara show up, they start to talk to me, but I tell them to go inside and keep Catherine company. Back inside, Catherine and Ana talk about whatever, while Tara and I talk about travel, and make tenative plans to meet up while she's in Colorado next month. Of course we drink more, then Catherine demands I buy shots, I say we should go over to Sixes and Eights. So, we do. Once we get over there, we push our way through the busy top floor and go into the basement, but the basement is closed on this night. We just say fuck it, and leave. Outside, we just decide to call it a night, at least Catherine and Tara do; they both have to be up early, and it's already two. After crossing Houston street, I grab a cab for Catherine, and we say our goodbyes. The rest of us hop a cab over to the PATH station. At the turnstiles the train is pulling in, and the girls breeze through with their Metrocards; I stop to pay the fare, when I should have just jumped the turnstile to catch the train. What the fuck happened to me? So, they get on, and I wait another thirty minutes for the next one. When I get off in Hoboken, Ana calls me up immediately, L&J's wasn't pulling a late night, so they went back to her place, and Tara went home; I tell her I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I walk through alleyways the whole way. At Ana's we drink more in the kitchen and talk for a while, then we go to watch Swingers. Shortly after, Lea comes in from work. We all watch the flick together for a bit, Lea brings me a shot of this weird eastern European apple-pear flavored scotch, and then Jill passes out. Lea and I end up in the kitchen drinking a bunch of vodka, and taking shots of SoCo and lime. We end up having a semi-deep conversation and she gives me one of her horse stickers, because she says she wants me to have it. She also tells me about some trip to Italy a year from now, she says I should go on with her. By now it's five am, and I need to catch my cab to the airport. She gives me a number and a coupon for a car service. We say goodbye, and my car is waiting for me when I step out the door. I've got fifteen minutes to make the cut-off for checked baggage for my flight. I tell the driver this, and he makes due. He does about ninety mph the whole way to the airport, and we make it in ten minutes. I thank him, give him a good tip, and check my bags with two minutes to spare. After breezing through security, I enjoy a hearty breakfast next to my gate, and board the plane. Once in my seat, I pass the fuck out. Sleep through takeoff. Get up four hours later. Puke in the bathroom. Make a half-ass attempt to rinse my mouth out with the shitty airplane sink, during the descent. Again, I pass the fuck out. Sleep through the landing. I grab my bag. Emerge into the Phoenix heat. Wait for my bus. Get home. Drift in and out of sleep on the couch all day. The Rogue awaits. More on that tomorrow.....

Friday, May 19, 2006

lull...


I didn't sleep last night. I had a broken sleep day. I ride the train from ghost locale to New York. I have several little bouts of sleep there. After exiting the station, I'm greeted by pouring rain, I was going to walk, but fuck it, I hail a cab. I make it to the apartment. Lea is there; I thought she was in Europe. She makes me breakfast. We talk. I spend the rest of day drifting in and out of sleep on the couch while watching Jerry Springer. Around four when I wake up for the final time, I hear someone walking around, it's not Lea, she's already gone to work in SoHo, it's Jill. We talk for a bit before going out to buy vodka, and pickup her laundry. When we get back, Ducky comes over. We drink a bunch of Vodka. Ducky is gone. Jill is sleeping. I'm on the fire escape drinking vodka and smoking.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

wandering...


So, I've been up, down, and all around. Since Monday I've been wandering around New Jersey. My mode of transport? Trains, random rides, and my Adidas. I've been to the farmlands. A shell of a house in the sticks. The ghettoes of central Jersey. Rich suburbs. The beaches. I've stayed with girls I haven't seen in years. I've seen friends I haven't seen in months. I've seen white trash puke on barstools while I ate a bar pie, and drank away my last nine dollars. I've slept on trains. I've listened to three kids from Asbury Park discuss the history of basketball. I've been yelled at by conducters. I've heard a gay guy breakup with his boyfriend. I've walked for miles with a heavy backpack. I've smoked highly potent trichromes. I've eaten two Wawa subs because I smoked highly potent trichromes. I've moved through this scummy state quickly, and accomplished much. Now I'm at the last stop. The ghost town. Nothing goes on here. I'm in a holding pattern, waiting to ship off to New York in the morning. There are a few things here that make it a good pit-stop. Obviously, we've got the internet access. We have liquor; an extremely large cabinet devoted to it in fact. More importantly, ice. Yes, we have ice; it's crucial for proper alcohol consumption. We had two beers, but I drank those quickly. We also have a fridge stocked to the tits with great food. As you can see, this is a good place to lay low, and recharge your batteries. I've got my shit together, packed and all, and in the morning, the train up to NYC awaits. However, for now, what do I do? I drink. I listen to the first Strokes album. We have this blog post you see here now. I also do something I've never done before, and most likely will never do again. I send out random friend requests on Myspace. But hey, sometimes boredom will fuck you like that. Anyways, if you're in New York tonight, and you know the number, use it. If you're in Phoenix, I'll be back Saturday morning; once again, if you know the number, use it, if not, I'll most likely be at the Rogue Saturday night... as for now, we need rum, whiskey, vodka, mixers, and ice... lots of ice.

Pirate Sessions


I felt it was about time for another grime post, most likely overdue. I'm on road now, so I have no access to my files, which means no mixtapes, or me making my own mixtapes, but I will do that again in the near future. Until then, enjoy some of these hand-picked pirate radio sessions...

DJ Wonder on Rinse - May 17 2006

Roll Deep on Rinse - May 14 2006 (JME Hosts)

Slew Dem ft. Jammer on Rinse - May 7 2006

Newham Generals ft. Dizzee Rascal - May 7 2006

Rossi B & Luca on Rinse - May 7 2006

Plasticman and JME on Rinse - September 2 2005

Nasty Crew and Roll Deep on Deja Vu - circa 2003

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Tempe Nights and Days Into The NYC Haze


Monday night. I don't think I wanted to do anything, or I couldn't do anything. I was broke. Liz calls up. She asks if I want to go to Longshot's with her, and meet up with some of her girlfriends. She offers to pay for my drinks; who am I to decline? So I go. We get there; it's karaoke night. I start consuming whiskey at a rapid pace, on top of the twenty-two ounce vodka I had before leaving the house. Some of her friends start singing some songs, and becoming more drunk. We have some shots. At one point I do Springsteen's 'Born To Run', and I rarely do karaoke; must have been very drunk. This goes on for over two hours, until everyone is shitfaced. Liz and I leave around a quarter to two, so we can make it to the Rogue for a quick drink before closing time. We go in, she orders up the drinks, and I head for the bathroom. On the way, I bump into Rikki, we talk for a bit, and make plans to jam when I get back into town. When I get back the drinks are ready. We are just about finished with our drinks when the lights begin to flash, and it's time to go. Back at my place we hang out for a bit before I run across the street to grab a pack of smokes from the Orange Store. While there I run into some guy I saw at the Rogue earlier, and three of his buddies. They start asking if I can score them some bud. I tell them I have none to sell, but they can come through and smoke some of mine. On the way over, one of the guys tells me that he pimps some of the girls that work on my street, and this prompts us to discuss other business related matters. At my place we listen to some grime, rap, and P-Funk; we finish my weed; we drink Southern Comfort; they see my Magnum condoms, and freestyle about a 'whiteboy' using them. I exchange phone numbers with one of the guys, and they go after a while. Liz and I hang out for a while more, and then I sleep.

Tuesday. I wake up around four-thirty in the afternoon, and I'm still drunk. I don't do much on this day. I catch up on some errands. Liz texts me, and says some of her friends want me now. I make Sukiyaki. I watch a bundle of downloaded TV shows. Derik comes by for a while. I go to bed early.

Wednesday. I wake up at a decent hour. All I had to do was my laundry before meeting Viki for happy hour, and I do it. Just in the nick of time; she actually helps me fold it before we go out for drinks. For round one, we go to the Rogue. Happy hour at the Rogue is always an interesting place to drink. On this occasion, the bar was packed, meaning that every stool was taken, no more, no less. This is packed for the Rogue during the day. She drinks beer, I drink whiskey, we drink a lot of each. One of the old-timers buys a round for everyone at the bar; a classy dive bar alcoholic move. After several drinks, we relocate to 'The Bar', so I can get some food. We order up the drinks, I ask for food, but the bartender tells me she's about to get off, so she won't make me anything. This prompts us to tear through the bowl of cheetos, potato chips, and doritos. She comes back and asks if I still want food, I tell her she missed her chance, she laughs and throws us a couple of free bags of doritos. Viki and I cross the street to get to my place where we drink some vodka tonics, and I make a cheeseburger. Viki leaves. I go over to Carmen's. I ask her if she still wants to go out; she does. I hang out and listen to music at her place, while she showers, and gets dressed. During which, I pickup her new neighbor, while I'm on her balcony smoking a cigarette. When she's ready, we walk down Apache over to the Vine. We drink there for a short while before calling a cab to take us up to the Rogue. Over there we indulge in cheap, stiff drinks, and play a bunch of songs on the jukebox. We talk, having a more in depth conversation than we usually do, and we get very drunk, very quick. Once we're very drunk, she goes into one of her freakouts. She starts saying she wants to go, so I call Derik, and ask him to pick us up; he will, in thirty minutes. During this thirty minutes we sit out on the curb in front. She starts to complain about waiting, then she attempts to insult me, but only to piss me off, I tell her I know she's lying, then she jumps on top of me, punches me in the face a few times, and then we make out on the sidewalk. Derik comes, we get her in the car, and drive back over to Apache. When we get there, she is being intentionally difficult, falling, and forcing me to carry her while she plays dead weight. I knock on Jim's door, and ask him to help me, which prompts her to drop the act, and hop right up and jog to her apartment, but she leaves her purse in the hallway. I grab it, and bring it over. She pleads with me to stay with her, but I tell her I got to go, so she tells me to fuck off, slams her door, and locks it. After that I go on over to Tut's to meet Derik. We chill with some of the people there for a while, and then I tell Jenny to call up Bill, and we'll drink at his place or mine. We decided on my place. I collected money for beer. At the store, some guy from Ghana, hugs me, and says how much he loves America, I tell him 'God bless'. We go back to Tut's, round up a bunch of people, and head over to my place. All in all, it was about five guys, and four girls. We start blasting music, and delve right into this drinking game someone knew. This killed the case of beer we got very quick, we continued with So-Co. We got drunk. Bill and I walked over to the Orange Store for cigarettes, then he went home. On my way back, Jenny was leaving, which was beat, because I was going to try and hook-up with her. Once inside, Derik and I spend the next hour watching two couples make out on my couch to Snoop Dogg, while we ate hot dogs. The time had come for me to kick everyone out, I needed to sleep, so I could wake up and pack for my trip to New York the next day. I sleep. Carmen calls me an hour later.

I wake up, predictably hungover, just feeling like shit all around. I waste time. Try to ride out the hangover. I wait until there's about an hour left before I need to catch the bus to the airport. Then I take out the trash, I shower, I pack, I power everything down, I catch the bus. After checking in and the security check, I hit the Fox Sports Bar. Chili fries and beer. I make it to my gate just in time for boarding, and we're off. I sleep, listen to my Ipod, watch some corny movie, and a TV show Charlie Sheen is in. We break through some rough turbulence, and land; one of those landings where all the airplane neophytes clap after the landing. Of course, it's fucking raining, which means I'm not going to the bar when I get to Hoboken, because I'm not walking the seven blocks to L&J's in the rain. So, after I grab my duffel bag, I get picked up by my sister and her boyfriend. We chat a bit in the car on the way to Ana's; we get there, I thank them, and tell them I'll see them Sunday at the beach. Ana left me a set of keys under the mat, since she was sleeping already, because she had to be up at five to teach kids the next day. I got in, made some Mac and Cheese, watched TV for a couple of hours, and slept.

When I wake the next day, Ana is long gone, and the weather is still shitty, but at least it's not raining. I take a shower, lock up and head toward the PATH station. When I get there, I take the train to 14th street in New York. I call Catherine, no answer. I call Carl, no answer. I text Layla, no response. By the time I get to 2nd avenue, Carl calls back. He tells me he's not working on the Lower East Side that day, he's on vacation. He invites me down to some thing he's having at a bar called Ashes in Red Bank that night. However, the combination of himself, Ana, a couple of other girls, and myself would equal a drama festival, so I decline. We make loose plans to hang out the next night. Walking down Avenue A now, I call Josh. He says he might come up from Delaware the next night. By the time we get off the phone, I'm walking past Thompkins Square Park, into 7A, a nice little bar I like to go to. I order a pint, and drink it quickly. After that, I discover pitchers are only ten, so I drink a pitcher of beer. I spend about two hours there, during which I drink, watch Comedy Central, play the jukebox, and Layla texts me back to say she has the flu, so she can't make it out. When I leave 7A, I go into SoHo, walk around, head west through the bargain district, stop in a bar on MacDougal street, and wind up on 4th street at Down The Hatch. I order up another beer, and some lunch. Over lunch I talk to the the bartender about driving times heading south, and she can't believe I made New Orleans in under fifteen hours. We trade more roadtrip stories, and then I go, because by the time I make the train, and walk back to the apartment Ana will be home. Ana calls me about two blocks from her place, I tell her I'll be right there. When I get in, we talk for a bit, and then decide to walk down to the pier on the Hudson. We sit there for a while, and I actually take a nap on the steps. Afterwards, we walk across town to the supermarket to buy vodka and food to make dinner with. At her place we have a couple of cocktails, and fall asleep. In a couple of hours we wake up, and I make chicken parm. During which, we drink a lot of vodka, because we were short on cash, and could not afford too many drinks at the bar later. Catherine calls me up after dinner, and invites Ana and I over to her place for drinks. We hop in a cab after Ana got ready, and go to the PATH station. We get off at the World Trade Center station, and walk over to Chris and Catherine's apartment. We do our hellos, and have a quick drink before we go up to the roof. The roof is beautiful, because it's sixty stories up, in the heart of downtown Manhattan, but it was foggy that night, and it obstructed our views. We sat up there for over two hours, drinking vodka and beer, telling funny stories. Ana and I were going to go to the East Village, but Catherine and Chris wanted to make veal parm, so we stayed. Catherine and I walked to the market, to get some missing ingredients, while Chris got started on the veal. When we got back, we ate appetizers, drank Amstel, and watched Goodfellas, while we waited for the veal. By the time we were finished eating, it was four am, and time to go. The bar was out, due to the late hour, so Ana and I rode in a fresh puke scented cab over to the Christopher street PATH station, and went back to Hoboken. At Ana's, I decided I would leave, and head down to the beach. I showered, packed my bags, and hailed a cab to the PATH station. I rode on to New York Penn station, and caught the first train heading south. On the train, I drift in and out of consciousness, and then get off at Bay Head. My ride picks me up, I get to the house, drink a glass of water, and go right to bed.

I roll out of bed around two. I go downstairs to make scrambled eggs and breakfast links. I watch TV for a minute. I run into my father, and ask him if I can borrow the car to get a mother's day gift. He says we'll go together, and get food for dinner in the process. We go to the supermarket and the fish market, dinner and a gift are gotten. We get back, I take a shower, and make some phone calls to setup what I'm going to do later. For dinner we make teryaki chilean sea bass, cilantro-lime-rum glazed shrimp, and shrimp dejonge. When we're done cleaning up after dinner, I catch the train up north to Red Bank. When I get off, I walk into the Walt Street Pub to take a piss, and catch a band doing a Springsteen cover. I walk outside, and Ducky is pulling up in his Lexus to pick me up. We cruise around Red Bank for a bit, before going to Ashes to meet Nelson. I get stopped at the door for wearing sneakers, so Ducky goes in to tell Nelson and we're off. We stop by 7-11 for smokes on the way to Echo. Over there we see Kelsey working the door, once inside I run into B.C., who gives me a warm greeting. At the bar we order about five double Jack n' Cokes apeice. In a bit, Nelson comes through with a few heads, we drink more. A half hour later, we decide to go to Chubby's. Over at Chubby's, it's a disappointment. A far cry from the days when we ran the place, didn't pay for drinks, had girls dancing for us on the bar, and knew half the people in there; so we leave quickly. Once in the Lexus, we drive over to West Long Branch, to Jack's. It was a bit more live at Jack's, but when you leave for as long as I have, it's hard for things to be the same. I spend most of the time there smoking cigarettes outside, and setting up a date for later in the week. From there we head over to the Windmill, for some quick food. It's about two by now, so Ducky drops me off at the train station, and we agree to meet up the next Friday in New York. I ride down south, get picked up, go home, and sleep.

Mother's Day. I'm up around noon. My sister is at the house already. My father and I go for a boat ride, I drive back, after we pass the police. When we get back my other sister is there with her boyfriend. They make a big feast, which was sausage, meatballs, brasualle, stuffed peppers, and spaghetti. While they make dinner, I drink about five Mojitos. The neighbors come by and we bullshit with them for a while. Dinner is ready, and I eat entirely too much. I pass out on the couch before dessert.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

LUA


I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's West side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you'll be right back
Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

It was so simple in the moonlight now it's so complicated
It was so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight
So simple in the moonlight...

Ramble...


Where were we when you died?
Abandonment had become your life
Soaked with abuse
A dirty dishrag
Used up
Discarded
Where did your mind go?
We opened the door for you
But you stole the keys
Exploded into the darkness
With no regard
For
Mind
Body
Or
Soul

Ripped open the canvasses of the world
Electronically transacting your way into our lives
Bribing us with unbridled excess
Only for friendship
Shame on us
Corrupted your innocence
For immediate gratification
Drugs flowed through your system
Like oxygen through your lungs
When the heat came down
The golden age ended
They subdued you with chemical chains
That day you went away
I told you to straighten up
But, I’m sorry
Is what I wanted to say
Returning from rubber rooms
Gratuitous pharmaceutical baths
Your soul was awash
You had left us
Nowhere to be found
Sputtering demeanor
Mind wiped clean
Chemically lobotomized
Wandering down the highways
Eyes wide shut coma
Pandering for scraps on the floor
Jails
Asylums
Rehabs
Had become your new home
When the final strike came down
You sunk into the muggy south
You sunk into isolation
You were given the opposite
Of what
You set out to attain in the beginning

Months went by
Phone calls ignored
Cast into your own personal purgatory
Maybe you felt there were no other options
Did you feel you could not achieve what you wanted to attain?
Is that why you knelt down on the tracks?
Only to feel the impact
Of that unstoppable train
News of your ill fated decision
Swept across us like a swarm of locusts
I’ll bet you’ll like to know
That your funeral was attended by many
Tears strewn down the faces
Of men who did not previously care
And their drops shattered the floor
The next day while pondering over your grave
Irony set in
All you ever wanted in life
Was to be surrounded by friends
But it took your death
For us to give that to you

R.I.P. KiN

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Flagstaff and Beyond


After finishing the last post, I walked out into the commons and the Brits had gone off to bed. I went in the room to grab a beer and everyone was sleeping. So, I went outside, pounded the beer while I had a smoke, and was off to The Joint. When I get back there I discover that the show is over, and there are much less people there. Where did they go? Through the back curtain into the strip bar section. I ask the bartender if they serve alcohol back there, and I receive the desired answer of yes. I slip through the curtain, and right past the bouncer, avoiding the five-dollar cover charge. The back was definitely where the party had moved, and there were enough girls back there to make it like a regular bar that just happened to have strippers dancing in it. I step up to the bar to order a drink, and am pleasantly surprised to find that drinks are of a regular price too, not like the normal cut-throat prices at strip joints. The seats on each side of me were empty, but were quickly filled with a rotation of the working girls that had a free minute to stop by and chat. This goes on for a while, all while I run through a smorgasbord of drinks. I go outside to have a cigarette, and some non-working girl out there strikes up a conversation with me. She asks me if I think she's overweight, because she couldn't trust her friends. I tell her she's not, and she wasn't. Then she says, "Well, would you hook-up with me?" "Yeah... I'd totally fuck you." This response pleases her. We talk for a while more, before I head back in to order another drink. I run into one of the girls at the bar I was talking to before, and I tell her I like her choice in leggings, and the songs she danced to. After that, I walk over to the stage to have a seat next to the girl I was talking to outside. We talk for a while more over drinks. I get up to make a move for one of the strippers, I ask her what she's doing after work, but she says that she's tired and is going to go home and sleep. During this, the non-working girl left. I should've just gone for the non-working girl, because I probably could've left with her. But hey, we've got to live with the decisions we make. This was also a good thing though, because if I did leave with one of them, I would've ended up waking up in some strange bed in Flagstaff around noon, when I needed to leave the Du Beau Hostel with Craig at 7am. On the way back to the Du Beau, I grabbed a burrito from a street vendor. Once there I drink another beer, smoke a cigarette, and then I'm in bed by three-thirty.

7am. Craig is kicking me awake. He's already showered and is ready to roll. I'm still my clothes from the previous night, I don't shower, I don't change, I round up my gear, and we're on the road in five minutes. At the gas station, we fuel up, and I grab some water and coffee. I take four Advil with the water and coffee so I can make a smooth transition from being drunk to being sober while avoiding a hangover. Now we head north through the early morning to reach the Grand Canyon. On the way we try to figure out our game plan, as we had no permit to camp, because you need to reserve them four months in advance. We drop twenty-five bucks on the ranger at the gate, and head into Grand Canyon Village, looking for the backcountry office, so we might luck out and get a permit, because someone may have canceled. Once inside, we find about twelve people before us. Our chances just got smaller. It looked like we were going on the haggard outlaw hike I'd planned. However, this was not the case. While asking the ranger for what's available, she tells us that there are two available spots at Phantom Ranch in the dorms. We jumped right on this opportunity, because these are spots you need to reserve at least six months in advance. So there it was, we were set. We then head over to the general store to procure batteries and liquor, then to the Yavapai Lodge's restaurant to change and eat breakfast. After parking the car, we take the slowest shuttle bus in the world to the South Kaibab trailhead. The South Kaibab trail is essentially an eight-mile long, five thousand feet down staircase to the Phantom Ranch. At the trailhead, I take in first sight of the Grand Canyon. Amazing. Pictures cannot capture it, and words cannot describe it. It is simply one of those things you have to see with your own eyes to comprehend. The massiveness of it is intimidating. After Craig does a quick stretch, we head in. We moved quickly down the trail passing everyone we came across, with no one passing us. About halfway down, we see the Colorado River for the first time, and from our height, it looks like a small stream. By the time we get down to it, we realize that it is massive. After crossing the bridge over it, we walk the final mile to Phantom Ranch, which is a series of cabins at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. We walk into the canteen, which is the office, mess hall, and commons area. After checking in, we go to our cabin for a quick catnap. On the way in, we ask someone for the time; we made it down in just under three hours; it normally takes people five, so rest was in order. We sleep for about an hour, and then head up the North Kaibab trail in search of Phantom Creek. After a couple miles, we reach the area known as The Box, where Phantom and Bright Angel Creeks meet each other. There is no trail into it, so we cross Bright Angel Creek and walk along the side or in Phantom Creek. A half mile in, we discover a series of four waterfalls. I go under the lowest one into a cave, and Craig takes pictures. I climbed up to the fourth one, but Craig did not follow, and I went no further, as neither of us was wearing shoes. On the way back to Phantom, we make a plan to get Thai food in Flagstaff the next day when we get out. At Phantom, we eat Powerbars, and stop in the canteen to grab a quick beer. When we finished our beers, we decided to walk over to the Bright Angel Campsite and go up the trail that we were originally going take if we had to go outlaw. We were curious to see how hard the section of cliff was. Basically, the trail is a very steep scramble up the side of a canyon wall. Craig stopped shortly in, and I continued about halfway up the canyon wall. Considering that the trail was just loose golf ball sized rocks, about five inches deep, I realized the way down would be slippery, so I came back down. On the way back to Phantom, we decided we would tackle that one another day. At the ranch, we take showers, and eat. Most of the other guests were eating their pre-purchased, twenty-dollar stew in the Canteen, so we grabbed a bottle of rum, and walked out to the beach on the banks of the Colorado. The sand was as fine as powder, and the rum was good. Eight o'clock was approaching; the time of re-opening at the canteen after dinner. It was there we headed in search of cold beer. We sat in there for a while drinking Tecates and going over the game plan for the next day. During this, we struck up a conversation with the girl working the counter. She told us that the employees were having a Cinco De Mayo party back at the house they all lived in, and invited us. Craig felt it would be irresponsible to go to a party and drink when we had to be up soon for a ten-mile uphill hike; which it was. But fuck it. A house party at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Was I gonna go? Absolutely. So I told the girl I'd meet her in the back of the canteen when she was done with work. In the meantime, I went back to the dorm, grabbed the rum, and talked to a couple of my roommates for a while. When I went back to the canteen, a few of the other employees were in the back too, and we all got acquainted. An interesting lot they were. Girls in multi-colored feathered boas, guys in flowing thin white linen pants. We walked over to the house, and started to drink. I was told not to talk about what goes on in the house, and I guess it's a promise I'm gonna keep. I left the house a few hours later, shitfaced. I walked over to the creek by my dorm, or attempted to walk, and puked. Then I just kind of laid on the side of creek for a while. I got up, barely walked into my dorm, and crashed.

7am. Craig is kicking me awake. He's already showered and is ready to roll. I'm still my clothes from the previous night, I don't shower, I don't change, I round up my gear, and we're on the trail in five minutes. For the way out, we decided to take the Bright Angel trail. It is a ten-mile hike, but we were told it was less steep, and we wanted to see as much of the canyon as we could. The only reason it is less steep, is because there is an almost flat part in the middle, but those are the extra miles, we still needed to ascend five thousand feet. The beginning was a bit shitty for me, as I was hungover, waiting for my Advil and NoDoz to kick in; I was wearing jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a t-shirt in eighty to ninety degree weather. These factors were certainly not helping. After about a mile I said fuck it and stopped. I got naked right in the middle of the trail and changed into my shorts and t-shirt. After another couple of miles, the drugs were kicking in, and the hangover was working its way out of my body. After ascending a three-mile staircase, we stopped at Indian Gardens to fill up our canteens, and chomp down Powerbars. Soon after we left, we hit the final staircase, which was steeper, and four miles long. In the middle of it, I decided to pace myself, and Craig decided to push it hard until the end. He made it out in four hours total, and I took a little over five, but now he’s sore as hell, and I’m not; I’m glad I paced myself. When we met at the trailhead, we took the shuttle to the car, and we're off to Flagstaff. We took a nice back road, with scenic view of Humphrey’s Peak, and other great scenery. In the center of Flagstaff, we go to the Thai restaurant we had planned on going to, but it was closed for another two hours, so we went three blocks down across the tracks to the other Thai place. After eating so many Powerbars, we housed that food, I even got an appetizer and two meals, decent food too, they actually were able to make it as spicy as I like, which is pretty fucking hot. The original plan had been to stay in Flagstaff that night, but after assessing our lack of funds, the decision to return to Phoenix was made quickly. We left town around four, and were back at Apache by six. Craig and I carried some gear up to my place, and then parted ways. After enjoying my second cigarette of the day, I walked over to Carmen’s, since she had texted me on the way back to ask if I wanted to go out with her that night. We talk about my trip for a bit, and then I ask what it was she wanted to do; she says it’s some band playing at an art gallery in downtown Phoenix. She started to clean her apartment, while I had a hit of weed, and then passed out on her couch until she was done. She had to take a shower and get ready, as did I, so I came back to my place, ate some leftover Thai, and did so. Once I was ready, I walked outside, where I talked to Jim and Emel for a while. Carmen comes by, and we go. We hit the liquor store first, because where we were going didn’t serve it, but you could bring your own in. We split a bottle of vodka, and I get an extra beer. When we get there, we meet her friend and her friend’s boyfriend, and then head in to catch the show. At one point, a guest singer steps in, and does this song where he made fun of the local hipsters, which was amusing to say the least. At the end of the show, we all headed over to Bikini’s lounge on 15th and Roosevelt, which was sort of like an un-official after party for the show. We hang there for a while talking to random people, and drinking about four Red Bull/vodkas. Carmen and I head back to my place where we smoke some bud, and then she has to go, because she needed to be up for work in about three hours. So, I cruise over to Tut’s, and find a good cross section of the regulars hanging out. Liz calls me up, and says she’s at a party in Mesa, and that I can bring some people with me. Derik, Bill, and I hop in the car, planning to go for a short time, and bring some girls back, then come back to Apache, grab some heads from Tut’s and have a thing at my place. When we get there, we move through the party to check out the scene, and then Liz and I go into the bedroom to do some blow. We sat in there for a while doing lines, and I have no idea how much time passed. Shortly after we came out, I drove back to Tut’s with Derik and Bill. By the time we got back, it was closed, and everyone was gone. We walked back over to my place, where Liz came through with some beer. We sat up until dawn drinking and watching CKY videos.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Flagstaff... not yet beyond


So here I am. In a hostel on route 66 in Flagstaff to be exact. We drove up here today with the quickness. Once in town, we check in, and then proceed to the nearest bar. Beer, Jack and Coke, sandwiches, and done. We gather supplies. Alcohol for tonight. Powerbars for the next two days in the Grand Canyon. We drink the beer, play pool in the commons of the hostel. Greg and I hit the street to head to the Joint. It seems to be the local dive bar, so we go. Not only is it the local dive bar, it's the only titty bar in Flagstaff, with a live music venue. We drink more. I drink heavily. We befriend the bartenders. Drink more. The live act comes on, and fuck, those little bastards were enthusiastic. The lead singer does a backflip off the stage while the band commits to other stage tricks. Greg decides it's time to go. At eleven o'clock. He's right though. We are embarking on a very difficult hike into the Grand Canyon tomorrow, and we should get our rest; we should not sod off and drink more. It's just plain irresponsible, especially since I did not sleep last night. So we are back at the hostel now. Greg is reading in bed; close to sleep. And it's obvious what I'm doing now. We also discover when we return that we have two new British roomates in our room. Well, about twenty minute before we left the bar I got my second wind, I was ready to sleep, but that's over now. The two Brits are in the next room playing pool now, I think I'm going to try and bring them to the bar so I have someone to get shitfaced with. I should sleep though, the hike we're about to go on is something avid hikers train for. Well, fuck that, I'm going in with two days of no sleep, and a hangover, let's see how that goes...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Albums of 2006 You Should Have...

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Hello bitches... I'm back. So, I've been sick. Sick since last Thursday, it's been shitty. It all hit me in the middle of an attemped drinking binge Thursday night. Niki made up a plan for us to all go out during happy hour for Tim's birthday. After a shower I crack open a beer, and run into Tim out in the hallway. We stand there and bullshit for a while we wait for Niki and Joey to pick us up. They do; we head over to Four Peaks. We get over there, it's packed. Right off, we lose Niki, so the three of us head to the bar for drinks.